Every time a father holds his child for the first time a wave of unimaginable love, joy and hope rushes into his heart; a heart that probably felt pretty full before that moment. Three years ago today, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, I had that feeling; that overwhelming wave of emotion for the third time in my life.
Before that first moment of holding my youngest child, I couldn’t have told you with certainty that adoption was going to feel just like having our first two biological children. I purposely kept my expectations low. I had studied the theories of attachment and my wife and I had talked many times about building attachment and trust, yet what I wasn’t prepared for was how this little Ethiopian baby was so perfectly chosen for our family.
I had purposely tried to prepare myself for a long hard road of reshaping our family. With our biological children I witnessed that maternal bond that happens with pregnancy; that knowing a pregnant mother has with her child in the womb. I remember at their births a sense of peace, because my wife already knew those children. Her knowledge of them was an encouragement to me. In my mind that knowledge would help bridge the gap as I got to know them after they were born.
With adoption I lost that peace. How foolish I was to not see God’s perfect plan for our family. The moment my wife held Maleia for the first time the peace came back instantly, then when I held her all doubts disappeared. To be clear all the doubts about whether adoption was a good plan for our family disappeared. I still had all the same doubts about her as our 2 older children. Doubts like: Will I be a good father? How can I keep her safe? Will she make good life choices? How on earth will I afford college? How will I be able to give her away in marriage? (all of these seem more in the “normal” category of doubts)
So to my precious Ethiopian princess I say Happy Gotcha Day! Three years ago today we “gotcha” and you changed our lives forever. We love you!
Click here to watch a short video about our trip to get Maleia.
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Summer is in FULL SWING!
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If you want to read our blog about adopting M from Ethiopia, you can still find that story over at http://www.babyethiopia.com